Good guy Greg
by howveryfake
Summary: Sequel to Too many cooks. I had to finish this silly idea of mine and it was really so much fun to do. Mystrade and Johnlock. I only own my mistakes. Feel free rate and review.


It's been three days. Three days of Sherlock surfing the web, writing something down, then re-reading and throwing away whatever was written. Three days of a very dramatic and nervous Sherlock. Three days of Sherlock being silent and ignoring John, along with the rest of the world. Three days of John wandering what the hell was going on but not bothering to ask. He knew he wouldn't get an answer, maybe an annoyed look or two, but no answer.

After three days, Sherlock finally gave up.

\- John, the moment has finally come for you to prove that in fact you can be useful.

\- Lucky me - John didn't even look up from his newspapers - not that me running this whole damn household, or, oh what do I know, me keeping you alive, ever has proven anything.

\- Oh please. Petty stuff. Unimportant. Boring.

\- Yeah, you're right, of course. Making sure we don't both die from the bloody plague, thanks to your experiments, that's so unimportant.

\- It truly is. Glad we're on the same page – Sherlock rolled his eyes – now if you don't mind, I need your opinion. You may have noticed that during the few last days, I was very busy. I have a new project and that is to help my annoying brother start a long-lasting, meaningful relationship with Graham.

\- You what? – now John's attention was there – you want to help Mycroft to be..happy? With Greg?

\- Yes, Greg, Graham, whatever.

\- I thought you didn't care about this sort of stuff. As a matter of fact, I thought you didn't care about Mycroft..?

\- And I don't – Sherlock exhaled – but it would help if Mycroft was in a committed relationship. He would cease pestering me and focus all his spying and stalking onto Gavin.

\- Greg. OK, this almost makes sense. Although I don't think you should be meddling into this, but I probably won't be able to stop you anyway, so, how can I help?

\- Well, I find myself on unfamiliar terrain. You know, dating and romance, that is something that commoners know more about, at least in praxis, so I certainly would need some pointers.

\- Okay...so how can this commoner help your highness? – John asked, feeling something between amused and vexed.

\- You can help me choose. I have prepared a few tactics. First one is writing a short letter that would be accompanied by flowers. I understand this is the rather usual approach. So, here's the letter: "Dear Gary, I would like to apologize for my behavior that can only be described as weird. In the same time, I do hope you can tolerate this kind of behavior during the next twenty years or so, since I'm unlikely to change and I don't know any better. Lots of love, Mycroft" – he looked at John expectantly – no good?

\- Uhm, a bit not good. It's Greg, not Gary. And it's not romantic or subtle.

\- OK- Sherlock sighed, a bit offended – although I think it's a very clear wording, I'm sure Mycroft would appreciate that. But I have an alternative: "Dear"…"Greg, roses are red, violets are blue, let's officially get together, or I won't stop stalking you!"!

\- Sweet Jesus – John held his head in his arms – please tell me you have something better after three wasted days.

\- But don't you see that this is both funny and romantic? How could you ask for more? No wonder you're single – Sherlock protested. – Ok, I do have other ideas, too. I thought since their online communication was so bad, you know, the Rickrolling disaster and the Too-many-cooks-catastrophe, we could turn it into a joke, and look! – with this, Sherlock gave Johns laptop to John to see. There was a number of memes of Mycroft.

One was a picture of Mycroft, looking very formal and serious, with the inscription "I am an old snobbish toad – but I could be _your_ old snobbish toad". The other said "Some people call me a stalker - but you can call me honey". Then there was a picture of Mycroft, wearing his umbrella, and of course the inscription said "You can stand under my umbrella". A rare smiling picture of Mycroft, saying "I would love to be your division".

\- Oh Sherlock. This is..it's just so cheesy. Please, what are you thinking?

\- I don't understand why you would think so! Greg would surely think this is adorable! Obviously you have no working knowledge about those things at all. I will let you know that I have been studying the human emotional responses to 534 different stimuli…

….

…and after that there was a lengthy argument between the two of them, ranging between what people thought of as "cute" to the question whether Sherlock should meddle at all. Of course, Mycroft had the place bugged, so he had both audio and video evidence of the entire affair.

Mycroft felt sick to his stomach. First of all, and he was very slow to realize it, the sending of the so-thought funny video, the Too-many-cooks-piece, apparently turned into the Too-many-cooks-catastrophe. He had high hopes, but Greg replied only with one sentence, namely "This is weird as hell, Mycroft." and after that he kept out of touch. So, there we have it, first the Rickrolling disaster, and then the Too-many-cooks-catastrophe. And, since misery just loves company, now there was Sherlock with his best intentions of match-making that are, of course, doomed. He knew his brother: no matter what John said and warned, he would be stubborn and send some of this horrific stuff to Greg, pretending that it was from Mycroft. Mycroft truly doubted that Greg's patience would handle a third disastrous attempt. He knew he had to act quickly.

…

A quick kidnapping is what needed to be done. One minute Greg was walking down the street, enjoying his fresh cappuccino to-go, the other one, after a very quick and futile struggle, he was in the back of an elegant black car.

\- What the hell..? – his cappuccino was gone, and he looked angrily at Mycroft, looking perfect as usual in his seat.

\- Gregory, I do realize this is most unexpected, but do please hear me before passing judgment.

\- Mycroft, you can't just kidnap me..! – Greg started shouting.

\- Please, Gregory, just let me say this before I lose my nerve and after I say what I have to say, feel free to shout as much as you desire – Mycroft said, slightly blushing.

\- Oh just say it then – Greg said, exasperated.

\- First of all, I apologize –again – because of the Rickrolling disaster and the Too-many-cooks-catastrophe.

\- Yeah I know, 'ts ok, John explained some of it and you know..you dealt it, I smelt it, Sherlock named it – Greg sighed.

\- Yes. What I would like you to know is that.. – Mycroft fiddled nervously with his umbrella – I'm not good at letting my…well, my emotions..known. And I tried to use humor to help me tell things that I find hard to tell openly. It turns out that I am not very good with humor. Again, I apologize.

\- It's fine, Mycroft. It was just a misunderstanding or two.

\- You truly are like the Good guy Greg meme, you know – Mycroft smiled, a bit painfully.

\- I know about that one. The guys at the office send me Good guy Greg all the time, especially when they want something from me – Greg smiled.

\- I want something from you, too – Mycroft said very quietly.

\- What do you need, Mycroft? – Greg asked, a bit confused.

\- I really need you to… - Mycroft's face was so red now – I must tell you this, Gregory, otherwise Sherlock will tell you, and I really do not want a third shameful event!

Greg realized that a huge secret was about to explode from Mycroft and he saw that Mycroft was really suffering. He hoped..oh he dared to hope that Mycroft liked him, if maybe just a little bit. But in the same time Greg was telling himself to shut it, because it would be ridiculous that Mycroft Holmes, this unbelievably smart, handsome, rich, powerful and in every possible way perfect man, could be interested in Greg, the plain, ordinary, boring, dull Greg.

\- Just shoot it out, Mycroft – Greg said flatly, knowing that this was it. He would be either very happy or very sad after this.

\- Gregory Lestrade, I..I like you and I hereby formally ask you out on a date, place and date of your choosing! – Mycroft spat out, keeping his eyes firmly shut.

For a few seconds there was nothing. No sound, no movement, no nothing. Then he felt shifting of weight on seats and died a bit inside, thinking Greg was leaving the car. But then he felt..he felt a touch of warm lips on his own, he smelt the warm smell of cappuccino and after shave and..it was Greg, and Greg was kissing him and suddenly the world went upside-down, hands flew to a desperate embrace, embarrassing sounds including sobs and giggles were produced.

Who would have thought?

….

\- My plan worked perfectly – Sherlock smiled smugly, looking up from his cell phone.

\- What plan? – John asked absent-mindedly.

\- I forced Mycroft to make his move on Greg. Feelings are reciprocated, of course.

\- You what? – John's eyes went wide.

\- Well if you remember, yesterday we had a staged fight about the issue of courtship and I presented to you all those heinous ideas for Mycroft's flirting attempts. Mycroft, of course, bugged this place – WANKER, AND I WILL FIND THE BUGS AND DON'T YOU DARE PUT NEW ONES OR I WILL CALL MUMMY – and deduced that I would contact Greg and play matchmaker. Since it was clear that this would lead to even more embarrassment, he was forced to act quickly and openly let Greg know how he felt.

\- Sherlock, that is diabolic. What if Greg didn't like Mycroft..?

\- Ah come on, even a blind man can see that he was pining after my brother from the moment he first saw him. Why that is, even I cannot explain, so there are things that are truly inexplicable, even to me. I mean, what one finds attractive about Mycroft, ugh…

\- So now you not only can read people's mind, but also their hearts?- John blushed a bit.

\- It's body language, actually, and it's pretty simple to read – he waved his hand.

\- I don't think it's so easy to read and I don't think you are that much aware of the feelings of people surrounding you – John said a bit bitterly.

\- Oh really? Test me!

\- Okay, how does uhmm…Mrs Hudson feel about you? – John's blush, but also his determination, grew stronger.

\- She loves me, cares for me a like a son she never had, but that's not what really interests you. You want to know what I know about your feelings towards me – Sherlock smiled and started talking faster – You look up to me, you tend to make me a hero, even though I told you that was a mistake. You often stare at me when you think I don't notice, and your heart beat elevates when I'm near you. You suffer through my bad tempers and my insults, you take care of me even though I rarely give you anything back, and you have demonstrated your will to give your life for me on several occasions. John, obviously, you not only love me, you _adore_ me. You are scared of that because you think that you are not gay, and generally you are not gay, but John, you're freaking gay _for me_. And that's ok, because I'm freaking gay _for you_.

John stood there, paralyzed. He was read like an open book. He felt naked to the bone and scared to death. He could form a word, a sentence, a thought.

\- Maybe this was a bit too much for you. Why don't you take a walk, relax, think about it, realize I'm right and when you come back, we can you know..be gay for each other? – Sherlock said, still grinning – Oh, and if you ask yourself where this came from..

And hell, John was asking himself just that question!

-..I simply cannot bear that Mycroft, that coward, would find the balls to admit this to Greg and be happy forever after and I, _I_, who was always the more forward and the more brave one, would not, especially since you and I are even a better couple than Mycroft and Greg!

\- So – John gulped – so you're saying, our relationship would be like an extended sibling rivalry between Mycroft and you?

\- Yeah, amongst other – Sherlock shrugged.

\- All right. I'm gonna take that walk now.

\- All righty buttercup. Don't be late. We have so much to experiment on!

\- Sweet Lord…- John said in a small voice. But already on the steps leading him outside, a small smile started forming on his lips.

Who would have thought?

Sherlock would, obviously!


End file.
